Glutenous Rag - lyrics and chords


To the tune of Old Grey Mare
Hey wheat!
Such a sweet comfort treat.
Beats me why we have to try to rely no longer
on our daily wheat bread so they said.
For health and fitness.Yes I witness
wheat jelly bellies all around,
pounds and pounds, and it compounds
with each sweet wheat treat, each white delight.
But hey, we knew to eschew bleached white, right?
To use stone ground, its been around,
round and round the block, milled for millennia,
no sass wild grass; einkorn, ancient as rhinoceros horn,
here when man first was born.

(12 count beat box)


But when bred for bread, this hybrid I read,
and it's said, spikes glycemic high, up to the sky,
so addictive, I try for another pop
when the sugar drop puts things to a stop.
Insulin too gets pushed through to undo healthy homeostasis.

Pretty pastry polymer puffs and other stuffs
bound by stretchy, sketchy neo glutenin chains
morphed into recent existence with quiet persistence
and insistence on the market value of the neo glutenous modalities.

In reality, no boast, a piece of toast can host
a hybrid haber haberdashery, a protein/enzyme smorgasbord
that gets us floored with glutens galore
that didn't exist before, making a door to the brain and more,
a trigger for zonulins galore to enable glutens to pour
through the cracks in intestinal tracks.
So watch out, before you hit the floor. There's more...

(12 count beat box)


This so called triticum aestivum, hyped for viscoelasticity,
with cohesive audacity. Where is the veracity
of such hybridized capacity?
What pedigree, family tree, history
ancestor einkorn now forlorn and shorn
by new born aestivum, hybrid one, gluteny with
primary proteins, the glad gliadins and glutenous glutenins.
Long strung out polymers with the stretchy but sketchy
genomic history of hybridization beyond assimilation
by digestive nations of doughnut persuasions.

(12 count beat box)


Are we what we eat?
A modern dwarf wheat, aestivum yum!
Come, flakey and light are we ready tonight
to make, bake, and take a bite of:
albumins prolamins, glutins and globulins,
peroxidases, oxidases, alpha amylases and starch synthases,
agglutenins and serpins, beta purothionin,
puroindolines with glycerinaldehyde-3-phosphate dehydrogenases.
Yep, here it be, wheat physiology, A to Z.

(Sing to tune of "Old Grey Mare")


[C]Good ol' wheat [F]it [C]ain't what it used to be,
[G]tall grass so pure and free,
[C]part of our history.
[C]Golden wheat [F]we [C]like what you used to be,
[G]Many long years [C]ago

[C]Many long [F]years a[C]go
[C]Many long [F]years a[C]go

[C]Golden wheat [F]we [C]like what you used to be
[G]Many millennia a[C]go



Tags: glutenous rag, lyrics, funny, food, diet, wheat